I am an empty shell full of apathy. I am a living contradiction. I am a forthright, straightforward lover of farce and absurdity. I am a non-practicing atheist. I am a logical and rational person as well as a weird and chaotic person. I am a very passionate person as well as a very stoic person. I am both giving and demanding (this should not be construed as me being demanding about how you should live your life, I am demanding about how others treat me). I am very forward and very complex. I love science and hate math. I am reliable. I am honest. I am cute. I am funny. I prefer logic over emotion. I grow roses, but no longer have time to tend to them. I am often far too direct and I can be accused of being too evasive when trying not to say something that I shouldn't.

Things I have done: Co-owed a punk rock club, played in 3 bands, wrote for a number of Texas music newspapers with a circulation of 15, 000, hosted a regular hour long show on a pirate radio station, opened for the Butthole Surfers when Gibby Haynes pulled me up on stage and said "Just keep talking.", ran around in my underwear in a crowded theater (see above), fixed cars, built a blood-spitting chainsaw, worked on films and videos, ran my own computer business, drove 130 MPH through Alabama, wrestled with a young lion, became a minister in The Church of the Subgenius and have since performed 3 marriages, attended SF conventions, collected comics and wandered through downtown Boston's three worst neighborhoods at 4AM delirious, covered from the knees down in vomit.

Kauris